Howdy ho folks!
So I'm a bit annoyed that I missed the Birminham comic show for 2 reasons. 1, I didn't get to see everyone I wanted to see and 2 I didn't get Brown Bottle Bear in on time.
I have, however, finished the damn thing so if I can get it scanned and sent to Mal as soon as possible I will have another jolly title to my name.
Next is the long awaited (at least to me) FAWK chapter 2. I've done a lot of different drawing in the mean time and I feel I've improved. I'm also striving to maintain consistency of the style across this one as well, something I feel was lacking in the other one.
For those of you who have read the first chapter (although as I'm pretty certain no-one reads this blog anyways this is more of a reminder for myself) the four charaters who are in the house will have their characters developed a bit in Chapter 2. It's going to mainly focus on the house (which bares a striking resemblance to one I might have lived in for a few months...but isn't that house at all for legal raisins). Also some of the characters may have picked up the traits of some people I know. Luckily for you guys the character of me is still absolutely nothing like me. He has hair for starters.
My other aim with VoRKS chapter 2 is to ensure that all of the action happens in consistent environments and that the backgrounds get better. I'm not that great at them at the moment so that's something I'm really trying to focus on.
That's all for now...
K
14 October 2009
24 December 2008
Countdown: 1 Day to Go!
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house Doctor Heinz Beenz was coming up with fresh ideas on how to survive Christmas day. Here's the rundown.
"So here we are at the night before Christmas. No doubt you have your bird ready for cooking tomorrow and all the presents are under the tree. Let us assume that tomorrow you are the one cooking. If you are not cooking then you will probably be on the recieving end of this.
"So the day starts at the crack of dawn, when you promptly turn over and go back to sleep. Following this and being woken up by your guests gently prodding your backside and realising the turkey should've been in the over 2 hours ago you get dressed and rush downstairs to find everyone has opened their presents without you.
"The day is going badly.
"When this starts to happen just relax. Remind yourself that these people are you friends, and that you can make them pay for the rest of the next year. They say you can choose your friends but this is not true. People are drawn to one another like moths to mothballs.
"What happens if you recieve a substandard gift? When this happens you simply send whoever sent you the gift a thank you note. Make it as sweet as possible. Then drive over to Barnaby's house and kick his car...I didn't mean to say Barnaby. It could be any cheap miser giving you a present of such poor quality after you bailed him out of a tight spot. SELFISH GIT!
"I digress, Christmas is about being together, and what could draw any family more together then a fight. Such fights will be started over the silliest of things, but ensure that they continue as this will keep your guests engaged and content until it is time for you to fire the warning shot into the ceiling to tell them to get the hell out of your house.
"Lets not forget what Christmas is all about, disappointment and togetherness.
"Season's greetings everybody!"
Thank you Doctor Beenz, I'm sure your ex-wife is very happy with her new husband.
"So here we are at the night before Christmas. No doubt you have your bird ready for cooking tomorrow and all the presents are under the tree. Let us assume that tomorrow you are the one cooking. If you are not cooking then you will probably be on the recieving end of this.
"So the day starts at the crack of dawn, when you promptly turn over and go back to sleep. Following this and being woken up by your guests gently prodding your backside and realising the turkey should've been in the over 2 hours ago you get dressed and rush downstairs to find everyone has opened their presents without you.
"The day is going badly.
"When this starts to happen just relax. Remind yourself that these people are you friends, and that you can make them pay for the rest of the next year. They say you can choose your friends but this is not true. People are drawn to one another like moths to mothballs.
"What happens if you recieve a substandard gift? When this happens you simply send whoever sent you the gift a thank you note. Make it as sweet as possible. Then drive over to Barnaby's house and kick his car...I didn't mean to say Barnaby. It could be any cheap miser giving you a present of such poor quality after you bailed him out of a tight spot. SELFISH GIT!
"I digress, Christmas is about being together, and what could draw any family more together then a fight. Such fights will be started over the silliest of things, but ensure that they continue as this will keep your guests engaged and content until it is time for you to fire the warning shot into the ceiling to tell them to get the hell out of your house.
"Lets not forget what Christmas is all about, disappointment and togetherness.
"Season's greetings everybody!"
Thank you Doctor Beenz, I'm sure your ex-wife is very happy with her new husband.
23 December 2008
Countdown: 2 Days to Go!
You've probably seen the headlines today. Our learned friend, Doctor Heinz Beenz, has been the subject of a scandal. Not much has been revealed, but the good Doctor was found this morning on his local high street covered in bovril singing the "Birdie Song". The papers are already speculating what's happening.
His wife has already started erecting guard posts on the house, and according to Dr. Beenz the "pepperoni will be shot on site". As I've known Heinz for a long, long time he let me in after frisking me to give me the latest lecture.
"So you have finished your Christmas shopping...but wait! You have not! Aunty Rhubella/Uncle Frank/Your real father is coming over for Christmas dinner and you haven't bought her/him/it a gift! It's the day before Christmas eve! At least it was! Now it's Christmas eve! Yikes!
"Does that situation sound familiar to you? It certainly doesn't to me. I have servants to go out and get my presents for other people and I always buy extra just in case, although this is not a sure way to win in this situation as I will describe later.
"So lets say, for instance, it is tomorrow: Christmas Eve. You have this person coming to your house. You don't know them very well at all and hope to get them a gift on the cheap. You also have only 1 hour until the shops close. What do you do?
"To start with don't panic! There are pleanty of establishments open and all of which can cater to your needs. Which ones are closest? The local convenience stores! Alas, these shops might now sell the quality gift you are expecting to get this relative/well-wisher. To go into town would surely be a nightmare. Take my tip and use the local all night garage. It is a veritable treasure trove of gifts. Even better, find your nearest service station. It may take you longer to get there but as soon as you walk down its hallowed tiled hall you will see something to buy your family member. This could come in the guise of a torch with the power of a million candles or a camping chair and table. All things which are very useful in todays work-a-day world.
"Lets also assume you've bought extra presents just in case of this event happening. Unfortunately it is embedded into the very laws of the universe itself that when you are in the shop buying the just-in-case presents they will seem like good generic presents, but when you come to select one out of the stockpile for your relative you will not be able to find one appropriate. You seemed to think of everyone but him/her/whatever. Aunty Mable doesn't want a shaving kit, Uncle Frank doesn't need a hairbrush (he's bald!) Your real father doesn't need to know about you, no matter how hard you try to get into contact with him.
"However late it is, remember, it can always be said with Ferrero Rochet."
Thanks again, Heinz, although you could've bought me a present and not just said "it's in the post". Git.
His wife has already started erecting guard posts on the house, and according to Dr. Beenz the "pepperoni will be shot on site". As I've known Heinz for a long, long time he let me in after frisking me to give me the latest lecture.
"So you have finished your Christmas shopping...but wait! You have not! Aunty Rhubella/Uncle Frank/Your real father is coming over for Christmas dinner and you haven't bought her/him/it a gift! It's the day before Christmas eve! At least it was! Now it's Christmas eve! Yikes!
"Does that situation sound familiar to you? It certainly doesn't to me. I have servants to go out and get my presents for other people and I always buy extra just in case, although this is not a sure way to win in this situation as I will describe later.
"So lets say, for instance, it is tomorrow: Christmas Eve. You have this person coming to your house. You don't know them very well at all and hope to get them a gift on the cheap. You also have only 1 hour until the shops close. What do you do?
"To start with don't panic! There are pleanty of establishments open and all of which can cater to your needs. Which ones are closest? The local convenience stores! Alas, these shops might now sell the quality gift you are expecting to get this relative/well-wisher. To go into town would surely be a nightmare. Take my tip and use the local all night garage. It is a veritable treasure trove of gifts. Even better, find your nearest service station. It may take you longer to get there but as soon as you walk down its hallowed tiled hall you will see something to buy your family member. This could come in the guise of a torch with the power of a million candles or a camping chair and table. All things which are very useful in todays work-a-day world.
"Lets also assume you've bought extra presents just in case of this event happening. Unfortunately it is embedded into the very laws of the universe itself that when you are in the shop buying the just-in-case presents they will seem like good generic presents, but when you come to select one out of the stockpile for your relative you will not be able to find one appropriate. You seemed to think of everyone but him/her/whatever. Aunty Mable doesn't want a shaving kit, Uncle Frank doesn't need a hairbrush (he's bald!) Your real father doesn't need to know about you, no matter how hard you try to get into contact with him.
"However late it is, remember, it can always be said with Ferrero Rochet."
Thanks again, Heinz, although you could've bought me a present and not just said "it's in the post". Git.
22 December 2008
Countdown: 3 Days to Go!
Yesterday I tried and tried to contact Doctor Heinz Beenz, now the Scientific Laureate to the Throne of the Isle of Vorderman, and he wasn't picking up his phone, answering his e-mails.
I managed to get through to his wife at 10pm last night and she asked me if I was interested in a good time, I said yes and then promptly hung up to go and have a good time. I love my XBox.
I recieved this e-mail from him today on the subject of "Doing the rounds".
"My friends, my dear friends. That is what you all are at this time of year. Dear friends! Many people you see at this time of year only. It is strange that people who you couldn't give a fig about for 364 days (365 on a leap year) are suddenly thought about on the last Sunday before the big event.
"I am today going to examine this phenomanomanomanom. Firstly who are these people? They are usually obscure relatives or friends of friends. Somebody you met on a bus stop once. The person you went to university with but thought smelled of cabbage. I am sure you know this person very well. For me it is my old school chum Barnaby Tromboner. He was the aforementioned man who's aura radiated cabbage. I hate this man and his annoying little family. I am not sure I was friends with him in school, I seem to remember him stealing my money on numerous occations.
"In the example of Barnaby, the Sunday that has just passed I spent around his domecile as if we were the best of friends. That was the image at least. He spoke at length to me on the subject of his children's latest achievements and how well his wife was getting on as a dull and boring person. I don't care! For the love of god I never knew one group of people could spend a whole year doing absolutely nothing. As a man of science this concept is alien to me.
"I do believe that the weekend before Christmas is set aside to go and visit people. I like to interlace people I don't want to see with people I do. Although that list shortens with each passing year. Additionally my wife bought presents for each of them. EACH OF THEM! I'm getting a razor for Christmas this year for my wife and she bought them a DVD player from us! A DVD player. I started these Christmas musings in the interest of Science but now I am discovering the true nature of the season. Misery! Disappointment! Annoying people!
"And if you're reading this Barnaby, and I know you will be as you regularly google your own name: yes it was me who did that to your toilet and not your son as first suspected. I also did it elsewhere but I suppose that one won't be found until little Michael opens his stocking on Christmas morning.
"Tis the season."
He's really getting into it this year isn't he?
I managed to get through to his wife at 10pm last night and she asked me if I was interested in a good time, I said yes and then promptly hung up to go and have a good time. I love my XBox.
I recieved this e-mail from him today on the subject of "Doing the rounds".
"My friends, my dear friends. That is what you all are at this time of year. Dear friends! Many people you see at this time of year only. It is strange that people who you couldn't give a fig about for 364 days (365 on a leap year) are suddenly thought about on the last Sunday before the big event.
"I am today going to examine this phenomanomanomanom. Firstly who are these people? They are usually obscure relatives or friends of friends. Somebody you met on a bus stop once. The person you went to university with but thought smelled of cabbage. I am sure you know this person very well. For me it is my old school chum Barnaby Tromboner. He was the aforementioned man who's aura radiated cabbage. I hate this man and his annoying little family. I am not sure I was friends with him in school, I seem to remember him stealing my money on numerous occations.
"In the example of Barnaby, the Sunday that has just passed I spent around his domecile as if we were the best of friends. That was the image at least. He spoke at length to me on the subject of his children's latest achievements and how well his wife was getting on as a dull and boring person. I don't care! For the love of god I never knew one group of people could spend a whole year doing absolutely nothing. As a man of science this concept is alien to me.
"I do believe that the weekend before Christmas is set aside to go and visit people. I like to interlace people I don't want to see with people I do. Although that list shortens with each passing year. Additionally my wife bought presents for each of them. EACH OF THEM! I'm getting a razor for Christmas this year for my wife and she bought them a DVD player from us! A DVD player. I started these Christmas musings in the interest of Science but now I am discovering the true nature of the season. Misery! Disappointment! Annoying people!
"And if you're reading this Barnaby, and I know you will be as you regularly google your own name: yes it was me who did that to your toilet and not your son as first suspected. I also did it elsewhere but I suppose that one won't be found until little Michael opens his stocking on Christmas morning.
"Tis the season."
He's really getting into it this year isn't he?
20 December 2008
Countdown: 5 Days to Go!
Doctor Heinz Beenz has just been round my house, in my face, giving me a one on one personal lecture. Here's what your friend and mine has to say on the subject of Santa Claus.
"Santa Claus. He is a man of many names. A man of mystery. Like James bond he comes and goes in the night, but unlike the superspy Santa doesn't have as many people with machine guns trying to kill him.
"Santa is an elusive character and we're going to explore his many facets to see how much we can discern about this jolly fat man with ample largesse.
"So firstly, the names. What's in a name? Many letters! And what comes from many letters? A postal service! Following this logic it is safe to assume that Santa is come kind of postal service. This would also explain the delivery of wrapped parcels, or 'pres-ents' to people around the world.
"Santa Claus, Chris Cringle, Father Christmas, Uncle Wolfgang (at least, that's what the person I caught dropping presents off in my room last Christmas called himself). These names are an example of a man who is confused. This confusion leads to a deep feeling of wanted to be a part of something, so he delivers presents to make all the children of the world feel better which in turn will make him feel better for a short period of time.
"The jollity of this man also knows no ends. He has a belly which wobbles like the jelly when it is pushed (very much like my own). In fact he has a big white beard...very much like my own. He wears read and only comes out at Christmas...
"... I have to go, right now!"
Wow, its astonishing how this man made it into a position of power as the Science Master General at Daily Week Times.
"Santa Claus. He is a man of many names. A man of mystery. Like James bond he comes and goes in the night, but unlike the superspy Santa doesn't have as many people with machine guns trying to kill him.
"Santa is an elusive character and we're going to explore his many facets to see how much we can discern about this jolly fat man with ample largesse.
"So firstly, the names. What's in a name? Many letters! And what comes from many letters? A postal service! Following this logic it is safe to assume that Santa is come kind of postal service. This would also explain the delivery of wrapped parcels, or 'pres-ents' to people around the world.
"Santa Claus, Chris Cringle, Father Christmas, Uncle Wolfgang (at least, that's what the person I caught dropping presents off in my room last Christmas called himself). These names are an example of a man who is confused. This confusion leads to a deep feeling of wanted to be a part of something, so he delivers presents to make all the children of the world feel better which in turn will make him feel better for a short period of time.
"The jollity of this man also knows no ends. He has a belly which wobbles like the jelly when it is pushed (very much like my own). In fact he has a big white beard...very much like my own. He wears read and only comes out at Christmas...
"... I have to go, right now!"
Wow, its astonishing how this man made it into a position of power as the Science Master General at Daily Week Times.
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